…this keeps happening to me, and I don’t know whether it is my ADD or the fact that I am suffering from the blahs (and fighting it every step of the way). Why am I fighting the blahs? Well, I can’t be with my love right now. He is in his truck, and the both of us are counting the days when his company lets me back onto the truck. In the meantime, I am frantically trying to get my craft blog updated, a schedule for it going, and making lists of things needed for the road, not to mention trying to sack away as much money as possible to try an afford a place to live. A little much? I think so, and that may be my problem.
You see, I try to focus on one thing, and one thing only, hoping desperately that I can busy myself with that one thing long enough to block all the other things out, but the other things seep into my thoughts on a constant basis. I joke that I am having bad ADD days, but in fact, I really do have days that I find it extremely hard to concentrate. This means that I don’t get anything done because I either hop between projects, or completely shut down because there is so much running through my head that I become overwhelmed and just do nothing.
I make lists. Sometimes I make lists for projects, shopping, goals for the blogs, etc. At times, they get done, and like today, they sit and mock me as I sit with ideas, worries, and the sheer magnitude of everything that needs to be done weighing on me. I pray for guidance, focus, and the ability to make it through a week where I don’t have a day, or days, like this, but they happen all the same, and all too close together for my liking.
I am having a good time staying with my friend, but today, just isn’t a good day for me. I don’t feel like doing anything. It’s not a “shut down” anything. It’s a “World go away” anything. I am finding myself getting annoyed with her daughter about going swimming because I don’t really want to do anything, but it’s not her fault. I have to find a way to kick this before I crawl into a corner.
Until next time, God Bless.