There, I said it. It wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. The roof over my head is the one that belongs to the semi that live in with my love. He drives. I do everything else. I don’t mind it. It’s not going to slow me down any. I see it as more motivation, and not a reason to curl in a ball and give up.
The address on the blog is my fiance’s aunt’s home address. I need some place to ship things to, and an address that is solid. So, how did I get to this point? Hmmm… Long story and previous posts.
The short version is that I left a cozy home, an unhappy marriage, and a car. I hadn’t been happy in a while really. I had checked out long ago. I just hadn’t counted on me still having feelings, strong ones, for Henry, my son’s biological father. I lost my son somewhere in the mix. He’s 21 now, so I pray that he is well. Like I said, long story.
I am in the truck snapping pictures, making jewelry, and really taking time to learn how to use social media to get my name out there. Am I happy being homeless? No, but I am happy because I am with someone who loves me, and thinks big like I do. Are we going to be homeless for long? NO. We are already making plans, me and my business, and him going Independent contractor in the trucking industry. We have dreams, aspirations, and plans. Better yet, we are working on those plans. Our personal goal is to have a real roof by the end of summer. When this happens, I will have a workshop again, and I start rocking it with new tea recipes and old ones, mineral baths, aromatherapy scents and oh so much more.
You see why this person isn’t letting no roof slow her down? No? Let me keep going.
I love to travel. I see this time as a blessing and an opportunity to purge myself of negativity, and all the stress and depression that I had being married. Yeah, I said that. I was depressed and married. I was married to someone who never had faith in my ideas, dreams and business ideas. I hate to put it that way, but I can’t think of any other way to say it. He saw it as me throwing money into a bottomless pit. Enough of that.
Step 1. I am purging myself of negativity. How? I am learning to let go of the hurt and the pain that was the backlash that hit me when I left with Henry. I am also learning to let go of all of the sadness that I suffered of having to live the way I thought I had to and not the way I wanted. I pray for my ex, his family, and my son.
Step 2. I am learning to let go of the stress. One would think that having a roof would be a blessing. Having a home led to a lot of worrying about how the bills were getting paid and living in a way that I didn’t give my spouse a reason to gripe. That was not easy. It led to stress. A lot of stress. I had backaches. My eczema caused me to literally bandage my hand so it wouldn’t weep all over my work. I found myself breaking down and crying in my pillow and crying myself to sleep before he came home from work.
Step 3. I am getting closer to God. I have made it a point every morning to look at my bible app, read the passage for the day and read the recommended books and chapters. All things through Him that strengthens me. I have always had a relationship with God, but I never could find the time to really connect, you know?
Don’t think I am bashing my ex. At the core, he is a good man. I just wasn’t the one for him. I am a dreamer, a thinker, a creator of things, ideas, and I love helping people. He is the kind of person steeped in practicality, routine, and set in his ways. I hope he finds someone that loves him for all he is, and give him the love and attention that he deserves. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Step 4. I am finally getting back to the projects I have always wanted to do, writing books, herbal guides, making jewelry, and anything that triggers both my ADD and my inner child’s curiosity. Henry helps me with my novels by throwing ideas my way. We role play the characters in the book. It really helps. I ask what his characters would do in certain situations, and he throws me a bone. I love it!
Step 5. I am learning to like paperwork, not love it, like it. I wish I could type and create all day without having to worry about receipts, expenses, and logistics, but you can’t escape it when you have a business.
Until Next time, God Bless